People Who Are Different Are Special… Like You

Fred Rogers, Extraordinary Friends, written in 2000.

“You are special.” That’s the comforting message from Mister Rogers. And by “special,” Fred Rogers does not mean empty praise merely to inflate egos. Each of us is unique in his or her special way. With this, it is apt that Mister Rogers would introduce readers to other children who are different from them, in that they have a disability. With his characteristic empathy, understanding, and honesty, he acknowledges that these people who look or act different can make on feel uneasy. Yet, after taking the time to get to know these people, they are also much like them: they have hobbies, favorite foods, and like to be with others. In that way, Mister Rogers neither puts these extraordinary friends on a pedestal (what many in the self-advocacy community refer to as “disability porn”), nor presents them as objects of pity. Before he starts his narrative, Rogers introduces us to six children. Three have disabilities (though he does not reveal what kind), and three do not. With each of the six children, Mister Rogers simply explains what they like to do and their favorite food. Throughout, Mister Rogers gives tips on etiquette, to ensure both parties are comfortable. In acknowledging differences as well as what we share in common, we are simply being real friends.

Although the book’s positive message merits five stars, the writing is better suited to having an adult read the book aloud to the child. The message, however, is very much geared to the child, told in Fred Rogers’s own wonderful way.

It is worth recalling that Fred Rogers’s affinity for children very much extended to those with disabilities. Quite a few of these children were guests on his show. These children never forget the kindness of Mister Rogers! One of the most beautiful moments was a very special reunion when he was inducted into the hall of fame. No more needs to be said about Fred Rogers and the reason so many people continue to adore this special man.

Living with “Everyday Asperger’s”

Everyday Aspergers, by Samantha Craft

A little girl, a free spirit, loved to spend hours absorbed in the sights, sounds, and smells of nature.  She saw herself as a caterpillar, “set free upon endless green, nibbling at the gifts before her.”  That is, “until the rain came.”  Caterpillar became Butterfly, lovely and able to reach great heights.  However, as she did so, her world became both smaller and larger.  Everything was unfamiliar and ever-changing.  With all that was good, also came evils Caterpillar had never known.  Yet she was able to see “Caterpillar Land,” and realized that “butterflies don’t have to let go of the caterpillar to fly.”

In the same manner, Samantha Craft goes between adulthood and childhood, relating each one to the other.  The challenges of Butterfly are those of an autistic woman on the higher end of the spectrum – Asperger’s.  Craft offers 150 vignettes of “everyday Asperger’s,” providing an insight into living with – and ultimately accepting – the condition.  Though most of the time, Craft speaks as Butterfly, in some of the pieces, she ventures into memories of her childhood and teen years, when she was Caterpillar.  These vignettes are not in chronological order.  I fact, at times they seem random, a reflection of the thought process of someone with ADHD, a condition that often accompanies autism.  Yet, everything is held together by the book’s theme of describing life with “Everyday Apserger’s.”

Early on, Craft refers to herself as “an autistic woman” and “an Aspie,” not “a woman with autism” or “a woman with Asperger’s.”  These conditions are not something she has; they are who she is.  This is the essence of the neurodiversity movement, as described by Craft’s colleague, Steve Silberman, in his groundbreaking book, NeuroTribes.

Craft writes with a spirit of humor and warmth, both of which are present even in her darkest moments.  Craft earned respect and gained a following with her essay, “Ten Traits (Females with Aspergers,” which is included here.  Since then, more and more women (and men) with Aspergers have recognized themselves, identifying with Crafts adventures and misadventures, and Everyday Aspergers is the product of ten years of such essays.  “This journey is all about my identity,” says Craft.  “I’m trying to figure out how Asperger’s defines who I am as an individual.”  This early essay sets the tone for such questions as what role she would like to play, as an alien dropped down from “Planet Aspie” to a world in which they are wired differently.  Or is she different?  Most likely, in keeping with the theme of neurodiversity, we are all different.  That said, Craft still acknowledges the importance of people with Asperger’s in recognizing when they commit social faux pas and how to best adapt to society at large and find peace within themselves.